Wierdest. Dream. Ever.

I was in a tall building; a tall, plain, cylinder, beige building, a building with doors and shops and other things happening behind each door, and a main entrance. The entrance was small compared to the building, but the inside was open and spacious with tall pillars and a shut door to a huge room. Whenever I would try to go into the regular sized doors on the side of the building, the doors would shut. The other people would have a remote and everyone would walk in except me; I would walk up and the doors would slam shut. I would even pretend to have a remote and the doors would shut and walk up, but the doors would shut. I went near one of the doors, and the people were in a line in a cafeteria, as soon as I walked up to the door, it shut.

But somehow, I don't remember how, I walked into the main way and I finally got into the big room for a second. It was a dark with greenish, grayish hue. I walked out of the room and towards the back, of the vestibule and there was a meeting with clean cut white lady, a bunch of other people sitting on fold out chairs, and my dad with a bunch of people were meeting. The lady was talking and I just straight out started asking questions, getting more and more frustrated when I got the run around. I don't remember it all, but I begin to ask why couldn't get into any of the rooms. Then I said something to the effect of, "What kind of business is this and what are you selling." Then like an epiphany, I then asked "What are you selling?" It suddenly dropped quiet, so I asked again but insisting an answer, "WHAT ARE YOU SELLING!" I said something to my dad to the effect of "tell me what they're selling" but he just sat there quietly, looking down. So I left angry but more so confused. What was this place?

Then as I got to the door, past the wide open pillars leading to the large room, towards the entrance with walls that funnel towards the open pillar room. Then two women followed me out and I got the sick feeling it was to attack. They would come up to me, talk to me, get into my personal space and seem as if to attack but somehow I would not get hit but felt as if they were try to pull me without touching me. It's hard to explain.

As I got away from them, I began to look for my car to leave and another person came out, walked away from me at first saying, "I need to walk to my car". Then he made an abrupt turn towards me and say before walking up to me said, "but my car's over here". He too did not attack but it was a very creepy walk towards me, bumping into me but not hitting me. Then, my stomach soured as I saw a bunch of people began walking out from nowhere.

Then I woke up.

Ethnic Licensing Agency

What prompted the idea: While at work (I'm work with children), I had a kid ask. Me a question. "Hey, would you jump out of a plane?" Then another one asks, "would you eat a cicada," then another one asks me to check out a noise at the end of the hallway that sounds suspicious. Of course, the answer is no, no, and no, how 'bout you do it, I've seen the movies and I know how this ends.

I just wanna look at my students and say, "Dude, can't you see that I'm black! For the most part, we don't feel the need to jump out of perfectly functioning airplanes, nor do we eat bugs for their culinary goodness, that's what chicken, steak, pork, and seafood is for. We don't investigate strange sounds for the adventure.

There's always gonna be someone out the fringe that does crazy stuff like extreme skateboarding and other things that could cause serious damage, but because we ain't got insurance like that, we stay away. It's dangerous enough in some of our neighborhoods to where we don't go seeking danger, danger comes to us. (Not all of our neighborhoods are crazy, but a LOT of them are.

The point: So, in order to explain myself in a culturally relevent and hilarious way, I created the Ethnic Licencising Board, which gives you certain privileges such as:

a) going "ethnic",
b) using slang and not looking a donkey, and
c) being able to say "mmm-hmm".
d) using the race card, ONLY WHEN IT IS NEEDED! Goodness people, if you use the race card when its not needed, it becomes powerless.

So,what I have done is given an explanation that is tasteful and funny all at the same time. The scenario goes like this:

Q: "would you eat a cicada?"

A: No sweetie, my ethnic license will not allow me to partake in said activity.

This way, he who hath an ear will hear. The rest will just shrug and go on.

*Winks at my peeps*

Happy New Year

This is a test post and I will make this short. This is my little space to rant, joke, point and laugh, and occasionally, cry. I made this so I can write down all of the random thoughts I have. Yet, for the very first post, I can't think of anything. Don't worry, driving will cure that. 

Deuces.